la fe de vida

There are so many ironies in life but today’s is particularly prickling – today is “la fe de vida day” for our house. La fe de vida is a proof of life document. Once a year, my mother-in-love has to prove to the Nicaraguan Government that she is still alive so that an authorized person can collect her monthly pension and transfer it to her hands here. The purpose we suppose is to prevent the fraud of someone collecting a pension for a dead person yet whole thing is just a bit odd. Deep down we tend to think, “why can’t she just stand there and say, ‘look, pinch, or better hug me.’” But no.

So, each year she’s been here we have shuffled through the elaborate process of filling out several detailed forms, supplying yet another set of small overpriced photographs, and dropping the papeleo (paperwork) into the hands of the Nicaraguan Consulate, who review and stamp with appropriate seals, nod approval, and if paid an extra fee will have the documents ready the same afternoon for pick up. It is a considerable amount of effort on the best of days for a result of a little less than $100 per month but today it is especially hard. Today will be her be her last la fe de vida.

She has been house-bound for more than a month since the diagnosis. She is weak and strained though filled with humor and hope. And she is adamant about proving her life. It is a task we can’t do for her. She must do it herself. There are no substitutes for la fe de vida.

We have tried for weeks to convince her it is not worth the effort. Yet, in spite of her sense (she doesn’t know for sure) this will be her last la fe de vida, she is absolutely determined to make this huge expenditure of energy, push herself out of bed, dress in her best, sprit on a perfume she likes (though not the expensive one i recently brought her because “that’s for special occasions”) strap on her sandals, and scratch her walker out the door. It squeezes our hearts and burns our eyes but we go along with it. We assist as well as we can. We pull it together and pull together. Hell if she can, we should. What’s the point if not to make her pleased.

So this is today’s irony. As my mother-in-love transitions out of this form of life toward the next, she insists on getting her due and proving that she still exists and in doing so she proves for us another lesson: life is for living right up to its last moment. That’s truly the faith of life… la fe de vida.